


Because I Want To

by tripnoiz



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Master/Servant, Mutual Pining, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:02:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28546059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tripnoiz/pseuds/tripnoiz
Summary: Yan Qing teaches Fujimaru how to play the guitar.
Relationships: Fujimaru Ritsuka/Yan Qing | Assassin
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is my piece for the Fateverse Holiday Exchange 2021, a gift for Caro (on Tumblr). I haven't written anything for a long time and I had a lot of fun. I hope to participate again next year! Thanks again to the organisers!

Yan Qing knew his Master had a busy schedule with combat training and studying magecraft, so he was quite surprised when she suddenly asked to meet with him on a Thursday evening after dinner. He couldn’t imagine what she could want to ask of him that she couldn’t ask of any other servant. He tried not to feel too sour about it, aware that jealousy didn’t suit him. He understood that his Master had to divide her limited free time between so many servants all competing for her attention, and he always tried to respect that. But still, it had been some time since he’d last spent some quality time with his Master.

Making his way through the empty corridors of Chaldea, he kept his footsteps light to avoid waking any of the sleeping staff. It briefly crossed his mind that his Master should probably be resting as well, but his eagerness to see her and fulfil her request, whatever it may be, grew until it overwhelmed his other thoughts. His footsteps stopped and his knuckles hovered in front of his Master’s door for a moment while he drew in a deep breath, calming himself, and he knocked twice.

Immediately and almost silently, the door glided open and Yan Qing saw his Master perched on the edge of the bed, bent intently over a thick leather bound book. She looked up. “Assassin!” she greeted cheerfully, smiling and placing a bookmark between the pages. Yan Qing assumed he had interrupted her studying. His Master carefully laid the book on the bedcovers beside her and stood up to meet him as he stepped inside.

He felt a peculiar fluttering feeling in his chest. Since when had his Master’s smile had such an effect on him? Was it that they were alone in her room together? Well, even if it was a foreign feeling, he had never been a man to let his shyness get the best of him. “Master!” He grinned back at her and ruffled her already messy orange hair. “What can I do for you?” He clasped his hands together, ready to distract himself with the task.

His Master didn’t hesitate to get straight to the point. He’d always admired that in her. “Do you know how to play guitar?” she asked, teetering on her toes, unable to contain her excited energy despite the late hour. “I want to learn but I’m not sure who to ask to teach me. I thought about Mozart or Salieri, but you know how they can be...”

“Hmm...” Yan Qing pondered, tapping his chin. From his younger days, he had plenty of experience playing a range of instruments, from traditional Chinese flutes and reed instruments to lutes and fiddles. He loved the string instruments most of all, and he supposed it wouldn’t be too difficult to learn a modern guitar. He’d seen one before and it looked fairly similar to a lute.

“Well, I can definitely try,” he answered, feeling determined. “We can learn together. With my musical talent, I should be able to pick it up in no time and help you practice.” He felt somewhat relieved that his Master had asked something of him that he could actually fulfil. If she had an interest in percussion instruments, it would have been another story.

“Oh my God! Thank you! That’s awesome!” she exclaimed, excitedly clapping her hands together and beaming at him. She was practically glowing. Yan Qing felt his heart skip a beat. “I’ve already arranged to borrow a guitar but we can only use it on Thursday nights,” his Master continued. “After dinner but a little earlier than now. Does that work for you?”

Regaining his composure, Yan Qing shrugged and gestured broadly with his hands in front of him. “What else do I have to do with my time?” He chuckled briefly and then cleared his throat, remembering who he was talking to. He flourished his hand over his chest and bowed. “I am, as always, at your service, Master. I would be happy to practice music with you.”

“Thank you! That’s great!” she replied, but an awkward silence fell between them for a moment. Neither of them was sure how to continue the conversation. Suddenly his Master’s energy seemed to evaporate as she yawned loudly and stretched her arms above her head, in what seemed to Yan Qing like an exaggerated gesture. “Well, it’s getting late and I’m pretty tired, so we should say goodnight...” she suggested, already edging towards the bed.

“Ah, sure, that’s a good idea,” Yan Qing agreed, nodding and moving to the exit. “You need to rest. Goodnight, Master. Don’t let me keep you up. See you next week. For our guitar practice.” He was aware he was probably babbling. Thankfully, the door slid shut behind him so he couldn’t continue.

He was a little taken aback by the sudden farewell. Perhaps he had misspoken? Had he offended his Master? He headed back to his room, replaying and analysing his actions in his head. Maybe it wasn’t something he’d done; maybe she really was just tired. He didn’t think his Master was the type of girl to lie. He laid down on his bed and frowned.

Why were his emotions all over the place tonight? One minute he was shy and nervous and the next minute he was worrying, but moreover he felt disappointed. He had hoped to spend more time with his Master tonight. He pushed the feeling aside, reminding himself of the positive outcome from the night; He would now be able to spend time with her every week. That wasn’t something she afforded to every servant here.

* * *

Flipping through page after page, the next day Yan Qing sat casually with his legs propped up on a desk in the middle of the library, memorising information about frets and chords and finger positions and so on. It really wasn’t that difficult at all. As he had suspected, playing guitar was similar enough to playing a lute. He was confident he’d be able to pick it up in no time and he was actually excited to be able to play music again after so long. The only issue remaining was not knowing what type of music his Master would be interested in playing. He supposed that would be a problem for later. They should focus on the basics to begin with, at least for the first few lessons.

Although, with this thought, Yan Qing found himself daydreaming. What kind of music would his Master like? He imagined sitting by a camp fire in the middle of a forest, the stars glistening in the sky above him, and his Master sitting on a fallen log beside him. They would share food and drinks and he would play traditional Chinese folk songs on the guitar for her. Maybe every now and then he would pause to explain the meaning or the story behind the song. Maybe he would take requests to play her favourite songs. Maybe he would slip in a romantic song...

_Wait!_ He shook his head abruptly to clear his thoughts. _Don’t start thinking like that,_ he berated himself. _You know you’re a scoundrel and she would never see you in that light. What was it she’d said one time? “You’d be cute if you could shut your mouth.” Something along those lines. You’re lucky just to be her Servant_.

Coming back to his senses, he was partway through his book but he snapped it shut and tossed it back on the pile on the desk. That was enough reading for the day.

* * *

The week could not pass fast enough for Yan Qing. He was so impatient he almost considered asking Da Vinci to check if there was some kind of temporal anomaly affecting Chaldea. Thursday evening after dinner time, he found himself pacing outside his Master’s room. She hadn’t responded to his knocking so he assumed she hadn’t returned from dinner yet. Just then, he heard light footsteps scurrying in his direction down the empty hallway. He recognised it as his Master long before she rounded the corner and spotted him waiting.

“Assassin!” she called out, her face instantly transforming into a bright smile. It had the same effect on his chest as last time. She waved to him with her free hand; in the other she carried an acoustic guitar. “Sorry I’m late! I hope you weren’t waiting long. I was just getting the guitar,” she explained, a little out of breath. Yan Qing smiled to himself. _She must have run back here_.

Stepping inside as the door slid open, Yan Qing smoothly took the guitar from her. His Master took a seat on her bed and he claimed the chair in the corner of the room, dragging it closer and sitting directly opposite. His Master’s hands were folded in her lap and she was already watching him intently. The weight of her eyes combined with being alone in her room together again put him a little on edge, but he cleared his throat and began the lesson, remembering and rephrasing things he’d read in the guitar books during the week.

“We should start by talking about the parts of the guitar…” As his hands glided over the polished wood of the guitar, he explained the names of the different parts and how they were used to play. Apparently it was an important step that a lot of guitar teachers overlooked, but he was determined to be the best possible teacher for his Master. When he was finished, he gave his Master a moment to breath and let the information sink in before announcing, “Ok, let’s see how much you remember!”

A groan of complaint escaped his Master. “I didn’t know you were going to quiz me!” She folded her arms over her chest and pouted. Yan Qing chuckled at her but motioned that she recite the parts they had just discussed. She did so hesitantly but she got every part correct.

“Great work!” Yan Qing cheered, clapping his hands and grinning at her. He had expected nothing less from her. He thought he noticed a faint blush spreading across her cheeks in response to his praise, but he brushed the thought aside. It was probably just the lighting.

“Now,” he continued, “the next step is to talk about the names and numbers of the strings.” He strummed his fingertips across the strings and considered the sound for a moment. “It sounds like it’s already in tune. That’s good.” As he explained the strings, he demonstrated by plucking each string and producing crisp, clear notes. He ran through this several times.

His Master nodded attentively, but her expression looked a little lost towards the end. “The numbers are easy enough to remember, but I don’t get the notes at all,” she admitted, frowning. “Can we go through them again? One more time?”

Tapping his chin, he tried to recall what he’d read about the notes. “There’s a short way to remember it. Something like… Elephants And Donkeys Grow Big Ears.” He grimaced and shook his head, realising as he spoke that it sounded stupid.

His Master laughed. “That’s ridiculous,” she commented between giggles. “We’ve got to think of something better!” She mirrored him, tapping her chin and sitting in thoughtful silence. After a moment, she announced, “I’ve got one! How about: Emiya And Drake Give… No, that’s no good.”

“Hmm… What about: Enkidu And… Dantes…Generate…” Yan Qing trailed off, unable to think of the next word. He drummed his fingers slowly on the wood of the guitar, running through a list of all the Servants at Chaldea. “Ereshkigal And David… Elizabeth And Diarmuid… None of them seem to be a good match,” he mused out loud.

Suddenly, his Master’s face lit up and her hands slapped her knees. “Eric And Darius Got Berserker Energy!” she blurted out, her voice loud and her words almost running together in her excitement.

It was Yan Qing’s turn to laugh now. He let out a long, hearty laugh. “And you thought the elephant one was ridiculous?” he teased once he regained his breath. His Master glared at him and he sighed, calming himself. “Alright, let’s try this one more time,” he suggested.

Using the absurd acronym his Master had invented, he demonstrated the strings and notes again, and this time noticed that his Master seemed to be following along much more confidently. He gave a small smile.

“Let me guess. You probably want to quiz me again, right?” his Master asked once the demonstration was complete, rolling her eyes and releasing a small sigh.

Yan Qing chuckled. “Something like that,” he agreed, passing her the guitar. “But more fun. Can you play the A string?” Like last time, she hesitated but she responded correctly. He continued asking her to play the different strings until her movements were more assertive and he was satisfied she’d memorised everything.

When his Master realised she hadn’t made a single mistake, she broke into a wide, radiant smile. Yang Qing, affected by her contagious, cheerful aura, found himself smiling warmly back at her. This kind of expression on her was probably his favourite and he suddenly realised he would do anything to make her smile like that. He wanted her to feel proud and confident and happy, always.

As soon as that thought entered his mind, he blushed and broke eye contact, clearing his throat and mentally berating himself. _That’s enough of that!_ But still, a question he’d thought of while reading in the library lingered – and it would be useful to know for their future lessons. What kind of music did his Master like? He opened his mouth to ask, but hesitated.

“Anyway,” his Master spoke up. “It’s getting late.” Her smile faded and was replaced by a long, wide yawn. She carefully put the guitar down next to her bed and stretched her arms above her head. “I should get to sleep. I’ll return the guitar in the morning. Goodnight, Assassin.”

“Yeah. Sure. Of course,” Yan Qing replied, standing and returning his chair to its home. The farewell wasn’t as sudden and jarring as last time, but he still found himself disappointed that their conversation had been cut short. “You made great progress today. I hope you have a good sleep, Master. See you next week,” he farewelled as he exited her room.

On his walk back to his room, he took the time to reflect on his interactions with his Master this evening. As far as he was aware, he had done a much better job controlling his emotions this time round. But not so much his thoughts. He was well aware that it was a futile effort, but… The more time he spent with his Master, the more apparent it was becoming that he was falling for her.


	2. Chapter 2

Fujimaru stared at the ceiling, wide awake. Her hands fidgeted with the hem of her uniform, frustrated with herself. _Twice now!_ _Why do I keep doing this?_ Truthfully, she had only asked Assassin to leave because she didn’t want to waste his time or bore him or inconvenience him or annoy him. She had asked him for a favour, teaching her guitar, and she didn’t want to take advantage of his generosity by making him stay longer when he probably didn’t want to. But still, that didn’t help the fact that she wanted him to stay.

When she had first met Assassin in Shinjuku, Fujimaru had been immediately taken in by his charisma and handsome looks, but deterred by his… attempted kidnapping of her. However, he’d grown on her a lot since then. It had been several months since he had first arrived at Chaldea, and she had been admiring him from afar, struggling to think of an excuse to spend more time with him. There were a lot of handsome men in Chaldea, there was no doubt about that, but Assassin’s intricate floral tattoos, bright green eyes and mischievous grin made him stand out in Fujimaru’s eyes.

Through their infrequent interactions around Chaldea, she’d gotten to know him a bit better, and he’d proven himself to be a friendly, fun-loving and truly loyal Servant. And of course with these guitar lessons now, she was looking forward to the chance to learn even more about him. She was surprised at his sincerity beneath his easy-going exterior and his confidence and patience in a mentoring role. Her crush seemed to be growing bigger each time she saw him.

_Maybe it’s selfish of me… Is he enjoying himself too?_ She questioned herself, biting her lower lip. She thought about his laugh during the lesson. She had never heard him laugh so freely before. Surely that was a positive sign, right? She also thought about his hands during the lesson, about how they had slid over the guitar and carefully plucked at the strings. About how beautiful and graceful they were despite the calluses from years of combat. About how large they were compared to her own, and how warm they would feel to hold.

She squeezed her eyes shut and clapped her hands to her face, feeling her cheeks burning. Maybe guitar wasn’t such a great idea after all…

* * *

After practically inhaling her dinner on Thursday (and almost choking at least twice), Fujimaru rushed to fetch the guitar and return to her room before Assassin arrived. She really didn’t want to keep him waiting two weeks in a row. Only a few minutes after she’d changed out of her Chaldea uniform and into more comfortable clothes, she was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed when she heard a soft knock at the door.

The door slid open and Assassin stood in the doorway. “Hey, Master,” he greeted. His head tipped to the side as his lips curved into a smile and a lock of hair fell over his eyes. Fujimaru had never seen him look so cute.

“H-hey Assassin!” she greeted him, stumbling over her words and enthusiastically gesturing he come inside and take a seat opposite. She felt her face growing hot and she hoped it wasn’t noticeable, but she knew there wasn’t much that escaped Assassin’s keen perception. He was, after all, an Assassin.

He ruffled her hair as he sat down and chuckled lightly. She hadn’t noticed before, being too preoccupied by his face, but he was carrying a thin notebook and a pencil. “I’m surprised you’re here before me this week,” he commented jokingly, tapping the pencil on the notebook cover idly.

“Yeah,” she agreed with a smile. She didn’t want to admit the effort she’d had to go through to make that miracle happen. “So, what do we have planned for today?” she asked to change the subject.

“Glad you asked!” He cleared his throat like he was about to make an important announcement and dramatically pointed the pencil at her. She giggled. “You’re going to learn how to play chords.” He tapped the notebook in his lap again. “With the help of this notebook.” Fujimaru wasn’t even going to question how a notebook would help her to learn the guitar. She trusted Assassin’s teaching methods.

“Ok, let’s get started,” she replied, making a determined fist. Assassin flipped open the notebook and began drawing several boxes. She unfolded her legs and shifted her position, leaning forwards to better see his illustrations. In the back of her mind, she was keenly aware of how close they were sitting, almost butting heads.

“There are beginner versions and standard versions of every chord,” Assassin explained in his teacher voice while his pen scratched lines across the paper. “I’m gonna get you started with the easier versions. What I’m drawing shows which strings you need to play and where to put your fingers. I’ll draw them, then I’ll show you on the guitar, then you can try it.”

“Ok. Sounds good…” Fujimaru agreed, this time with a little less certainty. She could see as Assassin added more lines, the boxes were starting to resemble the lines and strings on the neck of the guitar, but she felt a little overwhelmed by all the circles and numbers he was adding.

“Don’t worry, it’s not as hard as it looks,” Assassin reassured her gently, without glancing up from the notebook. He continued to add small details and label his drawings. His lines were neat but his handwriting was surprisingly messy. However, it was still easily readable compared to Da Vinci’s scribbled notes that Fujimaru often had to read.

Fujimaru’s eyes drifted from the chord illustrations to Assassin’s face. She rarely got the chance to look at him up close without him catching her. She admired the curve of his cheeks, the hard lines of his jaw and how his hair framed his face. _There is no way such a handsome Servant could possibly enjoy spending time with me,_ she thought. _He’s probably only here because I’m his Master._

“What are you staring at?” Assassin asked suddenly, lifting his head and meeting her gaze with piercing green eyes. _Shit!_ Never mind about not being caught. She quickly looked back down at the notebook and mumbled something incoherent, feeling the heat in her ears. What had happened to the days when she’d first summoned him and she was able to confidently tease him?

She was grateful when Assassin chose to ignore her odd behaviour and continue the lesson. As he had outlined, he began by explaining the different symbols in his illustrations and then he picked up the guitar and showed Fujimaru where to place her fingers and how to strum correctly. With each chord he showed her, only four in total for the time being, he strummed the strings and brought the guitar to life under his fingertips. His skill with musical instruments shone even when playing simple sounds.

When it was Fujimaru’s turn to try, Assassin passed her the guitar and smiled encouragingly. She scrunched up her face in concentration and tried to mimic the placement of his fingers, referring back to the notebook to double check. She had to stretch her fingers in a way she wasn’t used to, but it wasn’t so bad. With a little practice and some tips from Assassin, she managed to play all four chords they were practicing, though her strumming wasn’t as smooth as Assassin.

Clapping his hands and smiling broadly, Assassin cheered for her. “Great work! You picked those up really quickly! As expected from you!” She blushed at the compliment, but smiled back at him. “Do you want to try some more chords?” Assassin offered.

“Actually, my hands are feeling kind of stiff,” she confessed. At first it hadn’t been an issue, but holding her fingers in those awkward positions for so long had taken its toll in the end. The last few chords had been painful to play but she hadn’t wanted to say anything.

“That’s normal when you start learning,” Assassin reassured her. “But if your hands are hurting, that’s probably enough practice for today.”

They sat with silence hanging between them for a moment. Fujimaru realised this was usually the point where she would ask him to leave, and he was probably politely waiting for her to bring it up, but tonight she hesitated. She searched her mind for any excuse to get him to stay just a little bit longer.

“Can I ask you a question?” Assassin broke the silence first. She nodded in response, so he continued. “You’re acting a little strange today. I know this is only our second official lesson but… are you enjoying yourself?”

Fujimaru was a little caught off guard by his directness. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “If I’m acting strange, it’s not on purpose,” she answered honestly. “I enjoy our lessons, I enjoy them a lot, but sometimes I feel… worried.” Maybe that wasn’t quite the right word. It seemed a little too strong, but it was the closest she could find to describe her feelings.

“About what, exactly?” Assassin questioned. His expression and tone were soft, but his curious eyes seeming to be searching her face. It made it even more difficult for her to bring up her concerns. In her hesitation, Assassin attempted to guess her thoughts. “If it’s about your guitar playing, you’re doing great so far.”

She shook her head and stifled a laugh. “Thank you, but it’s not that,” she corrected. “Actually… I guess I have the same question as you. Are you enjoying yourself?” Despite being nervous to hear the answer, the second the question left her lips, she felt the tension leave her chest.

Assassin answered immediately and confidently. “Master, I can assure you I’m happy to be here. There’s nothing I would rather do with my time than help you and play music together.” Fujimaru nodded her head but remained silent in thought, absorbing his words.

“So it’s agreed,” Assassin continued, smiling and patting her on the head lightly. “We both enjoy our lessons together. I’m glad we cleared that up. So let’s continue to enjoy our time together, Master!”

Relaxing her shoulders, Fujimaru sighed heavily. “You’re right,” she agreed, smiling back at him. With that matter out of the way, she had to admit she felt much better. Now, the same as every time before, came the predictable awkward silence where they both struggled to find their words and waited for her to inevitably end the lesson.

But instead of an awkward silence, surprisingly, Assassin spoke up again. “Master… Can I ask one more question?” The smile didn’t fade from his face and his eyes held a gleam of mischievous curiosity. “What kind of music do you like?”

That caught her off guard. It had been a while since she’d listened to any music, so she had to pause for a moment and think carefully. “I like pretty much any music,” she replied finally. “Before all of this, I used to listen to slow pop songs, but… from my experiences in Singularities, now I like all kinds of music. People’s music, I guess you could say. You know, I heard songs in Rome, songs in Babylon, songs the Camelot refugees sang at their camps.”

“Interesting,” Assassin commented thoughtfully, inclining his head. “Thank you, Master. A very well-spoken answer.” Without another word, he began to collect his notebook and pencil, and returned his chair to the corner of the room.

“I guess it’s time to say goodnight,” Fujimaru said reluctantly, reading the room. But she was thankful that Assassin had been the one to initiate it this time, so she didn’t feel so rude. She placed the guitar on the ground beside her bed and watched Assassin prepare to leave. “Goodnight, Assassin,” she farewelled with a small wave. Like every other week, she was disappointed to see his back – although it was an attractive back.

Pausing in the doorway, Assassin looked over his shoulder at her. He had the mischievous shine to his eyes again, the one Fujimaru loved. “Goodnight, Master,” he responded. “Next week, I hope to play a song from my time for you.”

“Why would you do that?” Fujimaru raised her eyebrows, making flustered hand movements. She almost stood up in surprise. That must have been why he’d just asked about her favourite kind of music.

“Oh, Master,” Assassin chimed teasingly. He turned back to face her, shaking his head slightly and chuckling. He swept his hair behind his ear and gave her a caring smile. “Because I want to.”


End file.
